Dear Future Maha,
Life’s been a crazy ride with many ups and downs, and everything has led up to this day. You’re on a bed now at the age of 82 coughing, with your oxygen tank by your side with the nasal cannula wired up your nose. All the decisions you made, all the actions you’ve taken has led you up to this very moment. You’re on a edge now, your death has almost arrived you may die a few years from now, a year from now, a few months from now, a few days from now, or a few moments from now. So, I am writing to you to recollect some of the most important stages in your life in this little time you have.
Remember, the day when you first started kindergarten with the bowl cut. Remember when that one girl with the blonde hair that approached you to call you over for “snack time”, and that started a friendship that you will always remember and cherish close to your heart as that was you first friend. Remember, the first day at your new school Almadina when you had no idea where to go, but it all didn’t matter much as it was a short chapter of your life. Remember, your first day at FFCA that you joined in 7th grade, years passed and you hit high school which was a blink of an eye, little did you know you walked the stage in grade 12, and became the graduating class of 2018.
Remember, your first day of University when you got lost and bumped into a girl, little did you know that one interaction would be the start of a friendship that lasts for a lifetime. Remember your first university class when the boy in the red t-shirt sat by you, and started to talk some real nonsense to you, little did you know that that would end up being your life partner. Remember the day you graduated from university after pursuing your dream of earning the social work degree, and as you walked across stage the only thing you could hear was the voice of your family, and friends cheering on for you, whom supported you through every decision.
Remember, the day when you came back to the same class you met whom you love the most, with him after a year from graduating, little did you know he was going to go down on one knee for you in the same place you two started your journey together. Remember, your wedding day when he first saw and kissed you on the cheeks, and whispered to you, that you’re the most beautiful person he has ever laid his eyes on, little did you know that would be the start of a life-long beautiful marriage. Remember, when you had your first child, and saw the miracle of life, little did you know that would only be the start of blossoming a family, soon you ended it up having your second child followed by your third.
Remember, the days when you lost some of the most important people in your life who made you who you are as a person, little did you know you will soon be at the place they are at.
Everything makes sense, all the pieces fit in. The reasons you made the decisions you made, the success, the failures all of it makes sense. It was all to lead up to this moment.
No regrets…
Sincerely
Maha from the past,
Dearest Maha,
I would like to start off my talking about your blog aesthetic! The combination of the pale pink with the hazy trees as your header image really takes your blog to the next level! It is very pleasing to the eyes.
Now back to this piece….
I really enjoyed the way you took this piece. I found the fact that you wrote a letter to your future self from your past self to be really interesting – an different. It was nice to see how you reflected on your life.
“Everything makes sense, all the pieces fit in. The reasons you made the decisions you made, the success, the failures all of it makes sense. It was all to lead up to this moment.”
The above quote is my favorite from your piece; it encapsulates a mass of depth and meaning. Specifically, you speak about how your life has connected – like puzzle pieces – which is beautiful because it gives motivation to everything that has happened.
In terms of improvement, I would offer that you take a look at punctuation and sentence formatting. I say this, because you have some run-on sentences.
Thank you for sharing this!
Kind Regards,
Victoria
Victoria,
Thank you for the kind words, I appreciate it!
Also thank you for drawing my attention to my grammar, I’ll be sure to take a look at that.
Love,
Maha
Dear Maha,
First off, I would like to commend you for the decision to have this take place at such an older time period than many others in our class, so I applaud you. The imagery that you have about you on your death bed and the nasal cannula was a phenomenal choice, and it is evident that you took time to think about that.
Some improvements that I can note is the following:
” … at the age of 82 coughing, with your oxygen tank …”
– Moving the comma to before “coughing” to improve the flow of the sentence and to have better separation of the clauses.
“You’re an edge now, your death has almost arrived you may die a few years from now, a year from now, a few months from now, a few days from now, or a few moments from now.”
– Adding “on” in “You’re (on) an edge now…”
– Including a semicolon in replacement of the comma after “You’re on an edge now; …”
– Including some sort of punctuation between “arrived” and “you’.
Otherwise, punctuation would be one thing you would need to work on, but this was a piece I enjoyed reading. Can’t wait to see more!
With Love,
Aaron
Aaron,
Thank you for the kind words!
I also appreciate the time you took out to point out to specific details in my piece that require improvement upon! Thank you!
Love,
Maha
Dear Maha,
I really enjoyed how you made the piece so deep and interesting. The writing created an illustration that deserves to be applauded. The level of thought and understanding that took place in creating this is evident throughout the piece, and I personally felt that you made an amazing choice to write a letter to self.
For improvements, I would recommend you look over the structure of some of the phrases.
With love,
Vaishali